In 1976, Moris Tepper joined Captain Beefheart’s Magic Band as guitarist; a position he held until Vliet’s retirement in 1982. It was during this period that Tepper was handed the “Ten Commandments of Guitar Playing,” as written by Beefheart himself.

1. Listen to the birds.
That’s where all the music comes from. Birds know everything about how it should sound and where that sound should come from. And watch hummingbirds. They fly really fast, but a lot of times they aren’t going anywhere.

2. Your guitar is not really a guitar.
Your guitar is a divining rod. Use it to find spirits in the other world and bring them over. A guitar is also a fishing rod. If you’re good, you’ll land a big one.

3. Practice in front of a bush.
Wait until the moon is out, then go outside, eat a multi-grained bread and play your guitar to a bush. If the bush doesn’t shake, eat another piece of bread.

4. Walk with the devil.
Old Delta blues players referred to guitar amplifiers as the “devil box.” And they were right. You have to be an equal opportunity employer in terms of who you’re brining over from the other side. Electricity attracts devils and demons. Other instruments attract other spirits. An acoustic guitar attracts Casper. A mandolin attracts Wendy. But an electric guitar attracts Beelzebub.

5. If you’re guilty of thinking, you’re out.
If your brain is part of the process, you’re missing it. You should play like a drowning man, struggling to reach shore. If you can trap that feeling, then you have something that is fur bearing.

6. Never point your guitar at anyone.
Your instrument has more clout than lightning. Just hit a big chord then run outside to hear it. But make sure you are not standing in an open field.

7. Always carry a church key.
That’s your key-man clause. Like One String Sam. He’s one. He was a Detroit street musician who played in the fifties on a homemade instrument. His song “I Need a Hundred Dollars” is warm pie. Another key to the church is Hubert Sumlin, Howlin’ Wolf’s guitar player. He just stands there like the Statue of Liberty — making you want to look up her dress the whole time to see how he’s doing it.

8. Don’t wipe the sweat off your instrument.
You need that stink on there. Then you have to get that stink onto your music.

9. Keep your guitar in a dark place.
When you’re not playing your guitar, cover it and keep it in a dark place. If you don’t play your guitar for more than a day, be sure you put a saucer of water in with it.

10. You gotta have a hood for your engine.
Keep that hat on. A hat is a pressure cooker. If you have a roof on your house, the hot air can’t escape. Even a lima bean has to have a piece of wet paper around it to make it grow.

From Rolling Stone’s Alt-Rock-O-Rama

Hi, we’re Seake. And we’re music snobs. There, admitting it is the first step to rehabilitation. Over time we’ve become quite skeptical of the South African general public’s taste in music (it’s not their fault, they only have the nauseous drivvle that is force fed to them via the airwaves) …so when somebody suggests we check out “this great band/artist”, we politely smile and forget about the conversation in a few nano-seconds.

One suggestion we’re glad we didn’t ignore is UK Acid-Jazz Instrumental supergroup Red Snapper (who used to release on long time Seake favourite Warp Records no less – Doh!). After surgically removing the foot from our mouths & wiping the egg off our faces, we got down to listening to “Making Bones” & the sublime “Our Aim Is To Satisfy“. Not unlike checking in at Betty Ford for Electronic-IDM-Jazz-Skiffle-Beat counseling. Let the healing begin! Newly released album “Key” looks set to be premiership ear candy too…

After trawling through the digital archives this week, we’ve been rediscovering the perfectly cooled sounds of Kieran Hebden‘s (aka Four Tet) first musical outfit Fridge. Listening through their discography from “Ceefax” through to the most recent album “The Sun” is like finding that chilled cold water bottle stashed under the always empty egg shelf tray on a hot summer’s day. Refreshingly experimental drum arrangements give way to crisp audio foley & leave you cool as a cucumber & with that knowingly thirst-quenched smile. Okay, enough cold references for one post. They’re fucking great, that is all.

So you’re all fed up with tax-money wasting climate talks that don’t actually resolve anything? …and the blue light brigades shuffling corruption-soaked ministers around in this unnaturally dreary summer weather we’re having? Us too. It’s in these times we turn to music to reflect our emotions, to nourish the soul with intense audio energies.

How about some powerful “post rock” sounds from our favourite Scottish super group Mogwai, hailing from always drizzling Glasgow? Just the fuckin’ ticket I hear you say? “Hardcore Will Never Die, But You Will”, released earlier this year, is probably one of the more accessible albums from this mysterious instrumental 5 piece & should hopefully wet your appetite to ear-browse their extensive discography. The sublime Mr.Beast is still one of our best albums of the past 10 years.

So our grand scheme of modifying a Nabaztag to direct shipping traffic into Durban Harbour whilst playing the theme tune to The Poseidon Adventure may have died with the company that made it. However, thankfully their new adoptive parents have let Violet release a third generation bunny – called Karotz. And it’s arrived! Unlike your inferior real-life wet-nosed furry version, this bunneh is WiFi connected with it’s own TCP/IP stack, RFID reader & web operating software… giving you full control of the voice prompts, audio output, swivelling ears & glowing belly. Rad.

Goodbye weekend. Hello Nabazmob API.

We’ve been adoring fans of Ohio based retro blues rock duo The Black Keys since a few milliseconds after the Big Bang (or at least, realistically, after their very first album The Big Come Up). Now whilst we’ll always applaud artists that push their sound in a new direction & explore new audio frontiers… one can easily forgive these two for sticking to the 70′s moustache-sporting vintage vinyl-covered lo-fi riffs that’ve made them so famous.

Their new longplayer “El Camino” is exactly that. Bordering on a greatest hits collection of Black Keys’ signature basement-bargain-busting drum sounds & funk-drenched guitars, it’s like listening to the never-released soundtrack to Steve McQueen’s autobiography. Bringing out dad’s old Marshall Amplifier and playing this one loud comes highly recommended.

We like art. We like typography. We love Irish design collective The Small Print. One of their latest projects involved inviting top artists, illustrators & designers from around the world to come up with an unique illustrated alphabet. The results are clever, creatively inspiring & an insightful snapshot into global design trends right now.

Creative Review have more information on the “Illustrated Alphabet” project, but all you really need to see is the entire eye-popping collection, available as high quality lick-worthy prints from Print Process.

Rooftop + Party. Two words that go together like sunglasses & Stevie Wonder. Add some verbs like squeak, sing, dance, jol, drink & high five… some nouns like takkies, jeans, camera… & maybe a few pronouns like Gangs Of Ballet, The La Els, Seake, Lee & Sony Ericsson. So far, so good. Construct your Saturday night activities around these words, an epic photography competition showcasing awe-inspiring shots, homegrown musical talent & things start to look championship.

The City Is Mine series kicks off in Durban this Saturday (3rd) & if you haven’t been able to get invited yet, then you’d better hustle hard… the remaining tickets are wrapped up in a few mythical Wonka Bars in the 031 area. Alternatively, you could beg the lovely Lady Lee Rider for some. This one should redefine rambunctious.